Title: Chain Reaction
Summary: A chain of mishaps makes Mulder wonder
if he is jinxed.
Category: MT, MSR
Disclaimer: Not for profit, just for fun. No
copyright infringement intended.
Archives: Ephemeral, Enigmatic Doctor's, others
Feedback: Yes, yes, yes! Waddles52@wmconnect.com
Scully looked up from the magazine she was
"Ready to go?" Mulder asked.
Scully observed the cane and orthopedic boot.
"How are you feeling?"
"Great. Nothing to it. I don't know why I waited
so long to get this taken care of."
"Neither do I. You've been limping around with
that ingrown toenail for over two weeks." Scully
gathered her things. "I assume you have a
prescription or two?"
"Yes, two," he answered.
"Then let's get you settled at my place and I'll
get them later."
"Scully, I feel fine. It doesn't even hurt.
Let's just stop somewhere like Wal-Mart or K-Mart
and get them filled. I need to pick up some razor
blades and deodorant anyway."
"Mulder, it doesn't hurt because the local hasn't
worn off yet. It will probably really start
hurting before we get to my place. Let me get you
settled first," Scully protested.
"Nah, if we hurry we can get everything done and
you can lavish me with TLC as soon as the
anesthetic wears off."
"TLC, Mulder? Lavish?"
"Of course, I've just had surgery here," Mulder
Scully sighed. "Let's get going before I decide
to lavish you with something that will require
Mulder limped to the door. "I thought a part of
the doctor's oath was to do no harm."
"Mulder, in your case . . ." Scully let the
thought hang there.
"Okay, okay. Enough said."
At Wal-Mart they turned in Mulder's prescriptions.
"Mulder, sit down and wait here while I get what
you need. I think I'll pick up a few things
myself since we're here."
"I'll go with you, Scully. It's not hurting and
I'm picky about what type of razor blades I get."
Scully rolled her eyes heavenward and they started
"What do you need to get?" Mulder asked. "We
won't need to go down that aisle will we?" He
nodded toward the feminine hygiene section.
"You're safe today, Mulder. I just need some soap
and bubble bath."
"I'll meet you there." Mulder limped toward the
He soon had what he needed and met Scully in the
bubble bath aisle. She was standing in front of
some rather large bottles of scented foam bath.
"Do you buy that stuff by the gallon?"
"No, Mulder. I do not buy it by the gallon. I
usually buy this inexpensive stuff for the times I
have to rush through my bath, which is usually the
case when we're in the field. The nicer bath oils
and scents come in much smaller bottles and I do
not purchase them at discount stores. I save
those for special occasions. Drat!"
"What's the matter, Scully?"
"They're out of plumeria," she sighed.
"No, they're not. There are quite a few bottles
in the overstock on top." Mulder pointed them out
with his cane.
Scully looked around. "There's never a stock
person around when you need one."
"That's okay. I'll just hook one with my cane."
"Mulder, be careful."
The warning fell on deaf ears. Mulder
accidentally hooked two bottles. As he tried to
catch the first one, the second one bounced off
his head. The first one fell through Mulder's
hands and landed on his just-repaired ingrown
toenail. He slid to the floor as Scully tried to
"Mr. Mulder, please return to the pharmacy. Your
prescriptions are ready." Mulder heard the
announcement as his world faded to black.
Mulder opened his eyes then quickly shut them.
The light was so bright it hurt, and damn if his
head and neck weren't throbbing to beat the band.
His toe, oh hell, his toe hurt like a mother. He
opened his eyes again, slowly this time, and took
in his surroundings. It didn't look like the
doctor's office. They must have switched rooms.
Scully was there, standing with her back to him.
"I thought they were going to use a local," Mulder
Scully whipped around. "Mulder?"
"Why did they have to knock me out for the
procedure?" he questioned.
"They didn't, Mulder. Don't you remember?"
"I remember the nurse getting me ready for the
procedure. They must have given me some really
"Mulder, You're not at the doctor's office.
You're in the ER at Georgetown." Scully filled
him in on his mishap at Wal-Mart.
"Wow," was all he could manage to say.
"They're getting ready to admit you for
observation. No, don't even try to talk your way
out of it. You are definitely concussed."
"Okay, I guess. Why does my neck hurt?"
"You probably have a bit of a whiplash. Your head
snapped back when the bubble bath hit you. The
other bottle landed on your toe. I'm afraid
you'll have to trade that cane in on a set of
crutches," Scully answered sympathetically.
"I guess it's good that I scheduled this for a
"The next time you might want to consider a week's
vacation," Scully quipped.
Several hours later Mulder was alone in his room,
having convinced Scully to go home.
"Scully, I'll have plenty of company. You know
someone will be in here every five minutes shining
a flashlight in my eyes."
She reluctantly agreed and promised to return
first thing in the morning.
At first there was someone in and out of his room
every five minutes, but he hadn't seen anyone for
at least forty-five minutes. He was pretty
thirsty so he gingerly turned his head to look for
the water pitcher. There it was, just out of
reach on the far end of the nightstand. Deciding
to be a good patient for a change, he rang for
assistance. Thirty minutes later he decided it
was either get it for himself or die of thirst.
He chose the former.
Ever so carefully he moved over, but still
couldn't reach it. He let the bed rail down and
stretched a little further. Just another inch or
two and . . . thud! Mulder's world quickly turned
"Mulder, what in the hell were you thinking?"
Scully raged as she burst into the room.
Mulder was a pitiful sight, propped in bed
sporting a band-aid on his right temple and a blue
fiberglass cast on his right arm.
"I only wanted a drink of water," he said softly.
Scully's face softened. "I know, Mulder. I've
already heard the whole story. You know, I think
the hospital is assuming part of the
responsibility. They're bringing in someone from
re-hab first thing in the morning to make a crutch
that you can use with your broken arm."
"They must be fearing a lawsuit to bring someone
in on a holiday weekend," Mulder acknowleged.
"Maybe. In the future, would you promise to wait
"Yes, Scully. I promise," Mulder agreed
"Good. It won't be a problem for now though.
I've decided to stay with you until you're
"Scully, that's not necessary," he protested.
"I know, but I'd like to get you back without any
The door opened and a nurse came in followed by a
young man from patient transport pushing a
"Mr. Mulder, we're so sorry, but they forgot to
get the post-reduction x-rays when you were in the
ER. I promise it will just take a few minutes
then you can rest."
Mulder muttered a few choice words as the nurse
helped him into the wheelchair.
"Mulder, I'm going to stop by the coffee shop
while you're getting the x-rays. I'll meet you
down there," Scully decided.
"Sure thing, Scully. Take your time. They say a
few minutes but it will probably be more like a
"Now, Mr. Mulder, I promised you it wouldn't take
long," the nurse chided.
As the transporter pushed him out the door Scully
warned, "Behave, Mulder."
Mulder just rolled his eyes.
Scully got a soft drink at the coffee shop and
stopped by the gift shop for a few magazines.
When she reached the corridor in front of x-ray
she was greeted by a crowd of medical personnel
huddled around a patient on the floor.
As the crowd moved back, she could see Mulder
being helped onto a stretcher, blood streaming
from his nose.
"What the hell happened?" she demanded, pushing
her way through to Mulder.
"I'm so sorry," the transporter answered, wringing
his hands. "The brake must have caught and Mr.
Mulder was thrown from the wheelchair."
"Fall down. Go boom," Mulder sniffled. "Ow, my
"We're taking him to the ER to be examined. He
may have a broken nose," the nurse explained. "It
was a freak accident."
"I'll say," Mulder agreed. "This is beginning to
look like an X-File." He began to cough and gag
from the blood running down his throat.
"Let's get you to the ER and make you more
comfortable," the nurse suggested.
"The stretcher is in working order, I hope,"
"Yes. It's one of our brand new models."
An hour later Mulder was awaiting the results of
his latest x-rays. "Scully, do you see a black
cloud surrounding my head?"
"I feel like I'm jinxed. I keep getting hurt
without even trying," he moaned.
"Coincidence," Scully surmised.
"I still say we should open an X-File.
Their conversation was interrupted when the doctor
entered the room.
"Well, Mr. Mulder, it seems you've had quite a
"You're preaching to the choir, Doctor."
"Well, I have good news and bad news."
"Let's hear the good news first," Mulder decided.
"The post-reduction x-rays look fine. There was
no further damage to you arm."
"Your nose is broken. You're going to need
surgery to straighten it out."
"When?" Mulder sighed.
"First thing in the morning. Someone from ENT
will be by to discuss the finer points with you.
Until then you need to rest. We're going to give
you some Toradol, a non-narcotic pain reliever
that works pretty well. I'll give the nurse the
order, then we'll get you back to your room to
"How long will he be hospitalized?" Scully asked.
At least another 24 to 36 hours."
By mid-morning the next day, Mulder was resting
rather uncomfortably after the surgery to repair
his nose. He shifted in bed and groaned.
"Mulder, what's wrong?" Scully asked, concern in
"What do they have stuck up my nose?"
"They had to sew in some plastic splints on the
inside of your nose and you probably have about a
foot of packing stuffed up there too."
"Sorry I asked," he winced. "When do I get out of
"It depends on physical therapy and your ENT
doctor, but I'd say probably tomorrow."
"Scully, the next time you offer to do something
for me and I refuse, remind me of this, okay?"
"Oh, I will. Believe me," she grinned.
"Thought so. Sure you don't see a black cloud
""No, I don't. I'm just chalking it all up to the
infamous 'Mulder Luck'."
"No, Mulder. This was just a chain reaction. One
thing led to another and here you are."
"Are you still going to let me stay with you until
"Yes, but just don't plan on getting too close. I
wouldn't want any of your bad luck transferring to
me," Scully grinned.
"Mulder, I was just teasing. I plan on taking care
of you and lavishing you with that TLC you
"Yep, only the best for my Mulder, and when you
feel better maybe we can investigate this whole
"I was thinking of starting a chain reaction of a
different sort," Scully smiled, giving him a peck
on the cheek.
"I'm all for research," Mulder agreed. He brushed
her lips softly.
"Yes, I definitely think this calls for some
investigation," she said as she returned the kiss
with a little more vigor.
"Some chain reactions can be very nice," Mulder
"You're right. I can't wait to see how nice this
chain reaction will be."
"Let me get some rest, Scully," Mulder yawned. "I
think this investigation will require some
strength and stamina."
"You've got that right G-man," Scully agreed as
Mulder closed his eyes. She began to plan a very
detailed investigation for when he felt better.
She was sure he wouldn't feel jinxed by the time
she was finished with him.